As the academic year winds quickly to a close, there is much to process. As part of the end of the year/semester closing process in the academic world, we are regularly processing assessment tools to gauge feedback to help us confirm what we may already know, as well as learn things that we may not have been aware.
In the on-going cycle of parenting our students, I believe it is helpful to assess how we are doing, no matter their stage of development or our vantage point on parenting. At this point in the year, you might want to ask yourself questions such as, “How did I do parenting my student through this academic year?” “What did I learn from what went well, and what didn’t go so well?”
You might also consider asking yourself how you sense your student did as well. You might wonder: “How is she now asking for my help?” “In what ways has he taken more responsibility for his life and isn’t involving me like he used to?” “How do I feel about these changes?”
If you really want to take a step deep into the process, you might even consider asking your student how you did parenting her/him through this year. I know, that’s risky territory – but how else will you REALLY know if you don’t ask?! You might write down some of the key ways you have seen her take on new responsibilities and make healthy decisions. You could list the ways you have sensed he has exhibited a more mature sense of self-competency. Who knows what kind of dialogue this may incite?
I have added the poem below from John O’Donohue (one of my favorites) because I believe he astutely asks us, as we evaluate the year we have just lived, to look at all that was beautiful and difficult about it, so that we might know from where we have come in order that we might know even more deeply where we are headed.
I wish you well this summer!
At the End of the Year
The particular mind of the ocean
Filling the coastline’s longing
With such brief harvest
Of elegant, vanishing waves
Is like the mind of time
Opening us shapes of days.
As this year draws to its end,
We give thanks for the gifts it brought
And how they became inlaid within
Where neither time nor tide can touch them.
The days when the veil lifted
And the soul could see delight;
When a quiver caressed the heart
In the sheer exuberance of being here.
Surprises that came awake
In forgotten corners of old fields
Where expectation seemed to have quenched.
The slow, brooding times
When all was awkward
And the wave in the mind
Pierced every sore with salt.
The darkening days that stopped
The confidence of the dawn.
Days when beloved faces shone brighter
With light from beyond themselves;
And from the granite of some secret sorrow
A stream of buried tears loosened
We bless this year for all we learned,
For all we have loved and lost
And for the quiet way it brought us
Nearer to our invisible destination.
by: John O’Donohue
from: To Bless the Space Between us: A Book of Blessings, p. 159.