As regular readers of CP101 would tell you, I’m always on the lookout for the myriad ways in which this on-going conversation about relationship transition takes place. It’s certainly not a new conversation, as I hear echoes of it throughout literature, poetry, story and film.
I watched the film “Ride,” written and directed by acclaimed actor Helen Hunt recently. It was a fascinating look at the unprocessed pain of a parent working itself out and through her relationship with her son who was in the process of transitioning from high school to college. It was hard to watch and yet so well done in its portrayal of the lengths to which, in our lack of self-awareness, we will go to not experience the hurt or pain or unmet hopes we’ve experienced before.
Not being one to give myself to coincidence, I found myself reading the day after watching the film, an on-line article by Courtney Martin on my favorite blog, On Being. She speaks to the deep desire each parent has for her/his child to be successful and vibrant, yet much of the struggle is our own. I couldn’t agree more – it’s the very thing I’ve been talking about here for years. Our work as parents is to wrestle with OUR agenda for our kids, not to make her/him the point of attention. We are the adults; the grown-ups. It’s our role and task to do the good hard work that models vulnerability and authenticity for our children. That can’t happen if we make it all about them.
And so we hear it in another voice as Courtney speaks of her own journey…
Peace for the Journey!