The Core of the “Family Blessing”

hands

 As I again enter into the Orientation season, I am reminded of the power inherent in the core of what I call the “Family Blessing.”  The core of this message is focusing on building self-competency for your daughter/son: that she/he can do this, and that she/he is not alone!

Each student has “landmarks” in his journey, often people, who helped guide him to this pivotal point.  Each landmark – a family member, friend, neighbor, or mentor — took a sincere interest in helping guide his journey, and as such, each person has a vested interest in his success.

I believe it is essential to Continue reading →

Learning to Fail

scared woman

I posted this entry about a year ago.  The posting has, to date, received more “likes” and comments than any other, so I sense that what I set out to say hit its target.  So for those of you whose college student has come home for the summer, as well as for those of you who are currently marching through the high school graduation activities and are just beginning this process, I’m hopeful that this message will have a ‘centering effect” for all of us seeking to be successful in parenting our kids well!

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As we take a serious look at the transition, my sense is that one of the primary issues for us as parents is the fear of something we can’t imagine actually happening to our daughter or son.  Our culture is bent on the pursuit of success.  So, if that is true – and I’m convinced it is – the idea of failure then is often one that we expend a lot of energy avoiding and helping others avoid, especially those we care deeply for.

In my First-Year Seminar course for new Freshman, we spend an entire class period exploring the idea of “Failure” in order to expand our thinking about what it is, why it’s scary, and what we’re really afraid of – why have we been taught to avoid something that’s likely inevitable?  A number of the resources we use introduce us to how necessary (read: “vital”) failure is to reaching success; no matter the topic or pursuit.  I know, it sounds counter-intuitive, but when I examine my own path, I know Continue reading →

Peace for the Journey, Spring 2013

spring path2.

As we move into the newness of a new spring season, full of the hope that comes as life appears again in daffodils, flowering cherry trees and the like, I am aware that I have been hunkered down through the winter.

I often, this time of year, am full of the angst born of a hunkered spirit, of finding myself in some hibernated state of mind and spirit.  Spring then, always – and I mean always – holds promise of finding myself again with Continue reading →

Oh the Stress…

STRESS

The pressures for today’s student to be successful are astronomical in proportion to those faced by those of us now guiding our children through the early stages of college life.

I think of Becca, a student in my First-Year Seminar course.  As the students talked this past fall about the struggles they were experiencing making the transition to college, she fought back tears about the dilemma she faced in wanting to pursue a path toward music because her father was pushing her hard toward business or marketing.  I recognized a theme emerging from the comments she and nearly all the other students made that day.  Continue reading →

FAFSA Part 2: It’s FAFSA time!

It’s time. The Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA) is how millions of students apply for federal, state and most college-based financial aid. And because government grants compose 74 percent of this $185 billion pool, it’s understandable for families to feel anxious when filling out the FAFSA.

It doesn’t have to be that way. Susan McCrackin, Senior Director Financial Aid Methodology at the College Board, offers this eight-step map to help parents and students work through the FAFSA as efficiently and effectively as possible.

1.   Gather Your Documents

It is much easier to fill out the FAFSA if you have all the needed forms in hand before you start. Here’s a list of documents to get you going. You should also get a U.S. Department of Education personal identification number (PIN.) Here’s the PIN application link.

2.   Think About Taxes

Parents’ taxes are an important part in the FAFSA process. Getting taxes done by February 1st may be unrealistic, so last year’s taxes and this year’s paystubs can help create estimates. After February 3rd, the IRS Data Retrieval Tool becomes available, allowing students and parents to access the IRS tax return information needed to complete the FAFSA and transfer the data directly into their FAFSA from the IRS website. And if you owe the government money, take note: you can complete your taxes without actually filing and cutting a check to Uncle Sam.

3.   Find Quiet Time  

The FAFSA has a lot of sections. Breaking them into smaller pieces makes the FAFSA easier to navigate. Consider these do’s and don’ts.

  1. Don’t sprint. Take questions one at a time and give yourself time to properly answer each question.
  2. Do read each question carefully and out loud. It will help you understand the question better.
  3. Don’t multi-task. Put your mobile phone away, and turn off the television.
  4. Do find a quiet place where the FAFSA will have your full attention.

4.   Stay Student Focused

Parents often forget that the student always provides information. Parents are required to provide their information if the student is dependent.

So when parents see a question that refers to “I,” remember that “I” is the student. “You” is also the student. When questions address parents, you will see questions that refer to “your parents.”  This is where parental information goes.

5.   Avoid Parent Traps

As families evolve, so do questions about who needs to provide information for the FAFSA. When you see “parents,” FAFSA is referring to the student’s biological or adoptive parents. When the parents are married, then the student and both parents complete the FAFSA.

If the parents are not together, things can get confusing.  BigFuture by the College Board created the corresponding infographic to help address some commonly asked questions.

6.   Keep Track of Deadlines

Every college has a different set of deadlines based on priority, merit, early decisions etc. BigFuture by the College Board helps families sort through these deadlines with detailed college profiles and a free, customized action plan. And, should you have specific questions about specific colleges or universities, don’t be afraid to call the college’s financial aid office and ask questions.

7.   Profile CSS/Financial Aid PROFILE®

The FAFSA opens the doors to federal aid. There’s also almost $50 billion in non-federal aid available – from colleges, states and private institutions. Some colleges and programs use the College Board’s CSS/Financial Aid PROFILE to help award these monies.

CSS/Financial Aid PROFILE is an online application that collects information used by almost 400 colleges and scholarship programs to award financial aid outside sources from the federal government. Families must complete the application and the College Board sends it to the colleges and scholarship programs they have chosen.

Here’s a list of colleges that use CSS/Financial Aid PROFILE® and where you go to complete the  CSS/Financial Aid PROFILE®.  Sending your CSS/Financial Aid PROFILE® report to one college or scholarship program costs $25. Additional reports are $16 each. There are fee waivers available for low-income families.

8.   Gain Experience

The more you experience something, the better you do. This free FAFSA webinar walks you section by section through an actual application with the College Board’s Senior Director for Financial Aid Methodology, Susan McCrackin. Families can access the free FAFSA webinar 24/7.

It’s time. Go after your piece of the more than $185 billion in financial aid to help make college possible. Use BigFuture for advice and to help create a customized plan for your child. Then follow the map. Chances are it will lead to an investment that provides returns for the rest of your child’s life.

*Posted in conjunction with: The College Board

FAFSA Part 1: Who fills out the FAFSA?

Posted in conjunction with: The College Board

 

At the end of the Year

snowy path

My wife and I were talking this morning about the idea of “resolutions” and our resistance to making them.  It seems after decades of doing such, our memory of what these grand gestures do and don’t do reminds us why we now strive to live with a daily intention rather than what, at least in our experience,often ended up as little more than a stack of lofty goals.

As I reflected on this during a long walk in a quiet world this New Year’s morning, the poem below by Irish poet, John O’Donohue came to mind.  I sense that when we consider how we might live differently this year, it is at least in part based on how we Continue reading →

Doesn’t get much worse than this!

red card

This news story link below appeared on NBC last night (12/29/12).  It is certainly an extreme example of the kind of horror stories we hear about obsessive parenting.  The term “helicopter parents” doesn’t eve come close to describing what you’ll see – maybe “Apache Helicopter Parent” would be more descriptive.

I sense that even an extreme story such as this can serve as a great “check” for all of us to examine the ways in which WE may be pushing OUR agenda with our student.  Can you see it as a reminder to look honestly at the ways you have not “let go” of how you believe s/he should be …. (you can fill in the blank).

Blessings to you for a new year of peace! Dane

http://video.today.msnbc.msn.com/today/50318322/#50318322

 

 

Full of Expectations!

expectation

By now, your student has returned for the Winter Holiday break.  My sense is that you’ve already experienced your expectations not meeting reality.  By that I mean, you and your student had expectations for what the return home would look like, or be like and things just haven’t played out quite like you wanted/hoped they would.

You haven’t witnessed the daily transformation of the wide-eyed freshman you dropped off in August; this new creature who now resides in the body of the person you thought was your child.  On the other hand, your student has not experienced the daily alterations made to life at home, sometimes beyond your own awareness, around his absence.  This is not the household he left in August.

Each of you have made adjustments to how you Continue reading →

Holiday Deadlines for College Applications

In a cooperative effort with the College Board, I will be hosting periodic guest blogs about the college application and transition process.  If these posts don’t directly apply to you, feel free to forward them to others for whom the information may be helpful. 

Thanks so much for following C0llege Parent 101!  Dane

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College Board expert, April Bell, shares tips on how you can help your child get ahead of the college deadline curve no matter what grade they are in. 

Holiday Deadlines: Submit Your College Applications Early!

Encourage your high school student to submit their college applications before the New Year.

April Bell, Director, Counselor Advocacy – The College Board

November, 2012

Help your high school seniors get ahead in the college application process and avoid the stress of Continue reading →